Why is Throwing Out Old Stuff Hard??
Every time I move, have to suddenly up-end my place for maintenance, I encounter “my old stuff”. Stuff I’ve put away. Stuff I forgot about. Stuff my partner asks me to… throw out!
Why is throwing old stuff so hard??
Another way to think about it: why did I get that stuff in the first place? Why do I still have it?
Part of me thinks the reason why I get stuff is that there is a little fantasy inside me associated with the thing I am getting. Some examples:
- If I buy a new computer, I’ll be a better programmer.
- If I buy this running book, I’ll be a marathon runner.
- If I buy this car monitor gadget, I’ll tinker with it and I will “hack my car” to do anything I want.
- If I get this “collectable”, I’ll start a collection that will be worth so much more later.
That’s the problem, the story I create to justify buying the item is a fantasy in the moment. The reality is, after getting the item, I need to work hard using the item:
- With a new computer, I’ll have to spend time on it and program it.
- With this running book, I’ll have to read it thoroughly, train, improve, run a marathon in order to become a marathon runner..
- With the car monitoring gadget, I’ll have to tinker with it, understand it, and make sure I don’t put my only car into an unusable state for my family.
- With this “collectable”, I’ll have to research it, store it, collect more of it, etc.
The problem is, those fantasies never materializes because I don’t want to work hard at materializing them. I enjoy the fantasy in the moment.
I keep those things because those keep the fantasy alive in me: I will make time for it. I just need X to happen, then I will focus on that. I am still capable to do it!
In a way, that’s why throwing out things are so hard: I am throwing away that “fantasy” associated with the stuff. In a way, by throwing out those things, I am destroying part of me: the fantasy me that gets all those things done in an instant.