Red Green Repeat Adventures of a Spec Driven Junkie

You Can't

“You Can’t”

When I was reading James Altucher’s Skip the Line, his section on “You Can’t” explains an early experience I had.

“You Can’t” is not a Law

Whenever you hear: “You cannot do that” or “You can’t” like say… skip the line, the person saying it is not directing the message to you, they are projecting their own values upon you while trying to be important in your life.

“You can’t” is not a law, it’s just one person’s message that they have internalized and now projecting on you.

They may believe they are doing you a favor, helping you learn faster, avoid their experience or failures, etc.

But they are not you.

Message Matters

What you do with their message is important - because “You Can’t” messages will change how you feel about your hopes and dreams. If you lose confidence in your hopes and dreams, then success becomes magnitudes harder than just failing on your own.

If you fail on your own, you can build from that feedback of failure to improve.

If you fail by internalizing someone’s “You can’t” message, what can you build from?? How do you improve on a message?? You can’t! ;-)

Experience

I had a “you can’t” experience when I was starting university. One of my dreams was to work in Japan as an engineer. This came from my interest in video games from Nintendo, Sega, etc. (No PlayStation!)

The guy that worked at the video game store I hung out at said to me after I shared my dream:

You can’t work as an engineer in Japan, they have lots of engineers already.

At the time, I didn’t realize it, but I internalized his message. What he said made sense and my dream just seemed crazy in light of that message.

Part of me understood he’s right. Another part kept going on building that dream. That’s a whole other post.

You Can’t is Not Law

James Altucher’s section on “You Can’t” explains one of my childhood experience that was pivotal in my life. At the time, I did not know about “You Can’t” - but learning about it now, I understand what happened and what I can do to avoid being the “You can’t” person for others.